Yo-yo

In the first few days of our NICU journey, one of the nurses told us that it would be like a roller coaster. With its ups and downs and twists and turns, it was at times a bumpy ride. I would also compare it to a yo-yo. This might seem an unlikely metaphor because a yo-yo's ups and downs are steadier than a stay in the NICU. Yet, for me it works because I am one of those people who cannot seem to keep a yo-yo going. I try, but it always ends up spinning out of control.

There were certainly times that it felt like everything was out of control. At least it was out of our control. Buzzy was the one who determined the pace of things. How well she did with kangaroo care determined how long and how often we could hold her. How well she maintained her breathing rate and oxygen saturation determined when she could come off the oxygen. How she handled bottle feeds determined when she could come home. Sometimes the yo-yo was moving in the right direction, and other times it was just out of our reach.

The day Buzzy got to come home was like mastering the rhythm of the yo-yo and making a final flourishing catch. It was indeed a proud moment that we held tightly to. Since she has been home, we have been happy to be on a more even keel have even picked up a few tricks along the way.