Questions

From the moment a pregnancy test yields a positive result, expectant parents begin asking questions. Will he have his daddy's eyes? Will she have hair? Where are we going to put the crib? How will we pay for college? When prematurity enters the equation, the questions are a bit different. Will my baby be able to see and hear properly? Will she suffer permanent brain damage? When will he get to come home? What if our insurance doesn't cover the hospital bill?

When my oldest was born, my first question was whether or not she had hair. "Does she ever" was the response I got. When Buzzy was born, I asked if she was breathing. Her kitten-like cries gave the answer I needed. The answers to other questions (some of which we did not yet know how to ask) would have to wait.

Having a preemie means not only asking questions but also answering those of concerned friends and family, which is no easy task. The question as to when a baby can come home involves a detailed explanation of the requirements he or she has to to meet. This explanation likely raises even more questions.

For each of the questions I never thought I would have to ask there was someone to give me an honest but gentle answer. For that I am grateful. I am also appreciative of the dozens of friends and family members who patiently listened as an exhausted mother tried to answer their questions to the best of her ability.

With Thanksgiving less than a week away, I realize that I have much to be thankful for. Though we still have plenty of questions, many of our original ones have been answered beyond our expectations. So far, Buzzy appears to have suffered no permananent damage, and except for her small size, there is no evidence that she missed an entire trimester. That, in itself, answers an even bigger question, one that the skeptic in me has always had trouble answering. Do miracles really exist? It certainly is hard to deny the existence of such when one looks me in the face and calls me "Mama."