A Somber Occasion

I am very saddened today by the loss of another woman's baby. I learned from one of my students in class last night that Michelle Duggar has miscarried her 20th child. Many have said that with her age and previous history that she should not have been having another baby. Perhaps not, but who are they to judge? Having a baby, no matter the circumstances, is a decision only the couple can make.

Though I have nothing else in common with Mrs. Duggar, I feel a sense of connection to this woman I have never met. Her 19th child was born just a month before my 2nd. Both were premature. Hers was born at 25 weeks and mine at 28. I was in the hospital on bed rest while her baby was in the first few weeks of her long NICU stay. When I learned the news that little Josie Duggar had arrived early, I began frantically searching the Internet for updates on her condition. I wanted to know how she was doing as her story would likely be that of my own baby. When the shows featuring their experience with prematurity aired, I watched them. Their experience was so much like my own that I often found myself in tears.

When the Duggars announced that they were expecting number 20, I was hopeful and excited. I was looking forward to the delivery of a healthy baby after their previous ordeal. I was also offended by the negative comments made against them. Yes, she is of advanced maternal age, and yes, she has a previous history that includes miscarriage, preeclampsia, and premature birth. Are these legitimate reasons to villify a couple who wants to add another child to their family? Will I meet with the same criticism if I decide to have another baby? Though I am not as old as Mrs. Duggar, I am technically of advanced maternal age. I also have experienced a preterm birth. Both of these factors increase my risk of developing problems in any future pregnancies. And both scare me.

Today, as I think about the Duggar family, I wonder about my own. Will I be able to conceive and carry a healthy baby to term considering my risk factors? If I do become pregnant, will I meet with the same fate? I wish I could know the answers to these questions. For now, all I can do is shed a tear for another woman's loss and hope it does not become my own.